What To Do When Another Leader Gets Mad You’re Recruiting Their Employee
TJ Kastning
You’re doing the hard, necessary work of recruiting.
You’re not poaching. You’re trying to grow your team.
Then the phone rings.
It’s another construction leader in town. And they’re not thrilled.
“Hey—I just heard you guys are trying to recruit [insert name]. That’s my guy.”
Awkward pause.
Now what?
Let’s talk about how to handle this moment with class, clarity, and confidence—without backing down from your hiring goals.
❌ “Poaching” Is a Misnomer
Let’s clear this up:
You can’t steal a person.
They’re not livestock. They’re professionals with agency. If someone leaves, it’s not because you yanked them away—it’s because they saw something worth exploring.
“Poaching” implies wrongdoing. But in reality:
- The person responded voluntarily.
- They assessed their options like any rational adult.
- They decided what felt more aligned.
That’s not poaching. That’s the market working as it should.
And let’s be honest:
If hiring someone’s employee is “poaching,” then so is bidding against them for a job.
We compete for clients.
We compete for subs.
We compete for talent.
That’s not unethical—it’s how the world improves.
Competition is what raises the standard.
The only companies that fear competition are the ones clinging to complacency.
If you’re serious about excellence, you’re going to recruit from skilled competitors—just like you’re going to go after the projects that sharpen your team and grow your business.
🤷♂️ We Get It—Losing People Hurts
Here’s the irony: Even we get salty when someone tries to recruit one of our employees.
A few years ago, one of our best recruiters got a message from a competitor. Just a cold LinkedIn note.
I saw it pop up and had a completely rational, mature reaction like:
“WHAT THE—don’t they know she works for a recruiting firm?!”
Suddenly I was the guy thinking, “How dare they?!”
But once I got over myself, I had to laugh.
This is how it works.
Even recruiting firm owners aren’t immune to the sting.
It reminded me: if I want to keep great people, I better earn it. Not assume it.
⚖️ And About Those No-Poach Pacts…
Here’s what the law says: No-poach agreements between companies are illegal.
In 2016, the Department of Justice and the Federal Trade Commission made it clear:
You cannot agree not to recruit each other’s employees.
These “gentleman’s agreements” are considered anti-competitive and harmful to workers. In fact, companies have faced fines and lawsuits for participating in them.
Why? Because when companies secretly agree not to compete for talent, employees get:
- Fewer opportunities
- Lower wages
- Less career mobility
Recruiting is not the enemy of stability. It’s what keeps the system fair.
It holds employers accountable for creating environments worth staying in.
🧱 Real Story: When a Sub Hired a PM From a GC—And It Worked
We once helped a subcontractor in the Bay Area hire a project manager who was working for a general contractor they partnered with on jobs.
Yes, it was delicate.
They called us because they needed someone who already understood how their trade intersected with the GC world—someone who could lead with context, not just paperwork.
The perfect candidate?
A project manager from one of their favorite GCs, who just so happened to be thinking about relocating closer to family in the South Bay.
We handled it with respect:
- We didn’t make secret backchannel moves.
- We were transparent with the candidate and intentional in timing.
- And when the GC found out, they didn’t feel burned.
Why?
Because it wasn’t spiteful—it was justified. The PM was relocating, and the sub offered a role that matched his career goals and life needs.
It was a natural transition—not a raid.
The result?
No burned bridges. No drama. And a PM who’s still thriving in his new role.
✅ When the Call Comes In—Here’s How to Handle It
1. Stay calm, stay kind.
Don’t get defensive. Don’t escalate. Just acknowledge it.
“Totally understand how that feels—appreciate the direct call.”
You’re not admitting guilt. You’re just not pouring gas on the fire.
2. Explain your process—without apology.
This isn’t the time to shrink. Say something like:
“We’re actively recruiting for a role and reaching out across the industry. We didn’t target anyone maliciously—just looking for people who might be a fit.”
Simple. True. Professional.
3. Respect, but don’t retreat.
If they push you to back off the candidate, tread carefully.
You can acknowledge the relationship without compromising your process:
“We’re not in the business of pulling people out of places they love. If they’re happy, great. If they’re curious, we’re open to the conversation.”
That line keeps the door open—but removes the drama.
🧭 Recruiting = Accountability
Here’s the truth: Recruiting makes the whole system better.
- It rewards companies who invest in people.
- It exposes environments where growth has stalled.
- It gives professionals the freedom to grow without begging for permission.
If your team is growing through competitive, ethical recruiting, that’s not something to apologize for.
It’s something to stand behind—with integrity and clarity.
👉 Want to Recruit Without Burning Bridges?
We help construction leaders:
- Build recruiting strategies that reflect their values
- Communicate clearly with both candidates and industry peers
- Attract people who are a genuine fit—not just available
